It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
