Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
