??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
