Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
