sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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