Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
