For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
