can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
