i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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