i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
