And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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