I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
