I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
