what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
