hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize