Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm always down for nudity.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
