After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
