you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
high people should be assigned attendants
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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