Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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