oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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