theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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