i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
