I cockslap morals
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
