He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
