Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
