dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So much rum. So many feels.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
