adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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