so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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