He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
