We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
