Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
