And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
