Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
