She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
