I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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