I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
