Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
