wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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