just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
