I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
