You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
