I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
