i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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