If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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