I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
