For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
