Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
