the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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