Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
