I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
