So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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