i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
